The world can be a dark and contentious place. Illness, famine, poverty, hostility, and desperation are all around us. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The world can be a better place. We can make a choice — a choice to be a voice of change, a change that can transform the world we live in. Entrepreneurs are well-positioned to help make that change.

Years ago, I implemented a phrase into the fabric of the core values of my company. That simple, two-word phrase — Givers Gain^® — was a game-changer in giving people a different framework relating to the way they network with others.

Giving is an idea that proclaims we can be something bigger than ourselves. It’s a reaffirmation that our lives have significant meaning and that, through the community, we can be our best selves.

Related: Giving More Increases Your Happiness

For people who get it, this philosophy unlocks a whole new world of meaning and opportunity. So, our jobis to help people “get it.” More importantly, we can be intentional about helping people reach that place.

In 2010, Greater Good Magazine wrote that the National Institutes of Health found that when people give to others, “it activates regions of the brain associated with pleasure, social connection, and trust, creating a ‘warm glow’ effect. Scientists also believe that altruistic behavior releases endorphins in the brain, producing a positive feeling known as the helper’s high.”

Researchers at the University of California – Berkley found that people who volunteered to multiple organizations were “44 percent less likely to die over a five-year period than were non-volunteers,”and John Cacioppo, author of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, says, “the more extensive the reciprocal altruism born of social connection …the greater the advance toward health, wealth, and happiness.”

There is a profound ripple effect that takes place through the act of consciously practicing a giving philosophy. I have seen the dramatic impact one person can have on another. I’ve observed the surging ripple that takes place as an act impacts one person and the next person and the next person, and so on. Within a community or a network, the ripple effect that takes place from this philosophy can influence hundreds or thousands of people. In fact, I believe it can influence the world. Giving is contagious. Conscious giving can be infinite.

Related: 4 Ways Companies Foster a Culture of Giving Back

There is a Chinese saying: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.” For centuries, the greatest thinkers have suggested the same thing: Happiness is found in giving.

The results of this philosophy cannot be observed as a straight line in life. It is a complex zigzag of interconnected relationships that lead to a place of contentment and fulfillment, and it begins with the right mindset. It’s about taking off your bib and putting on an apron. It’s not about what’s in it for you, or how much can you get — it’s about serving and helping others in a very conscious way. Not doing so in a way that ignores the fact that there are takers in the world, but in a way that consciously chooses to find your fellow givers in the world. It’s easy to be cynical and think that the help you can offer is negligible, but it only takes a small gesture to change someone’s life.

We’ve all had people who are in “our story.” They are the people we talk about who have changed our lives in some way. However, there is something even more important: The real question is not who’s in our story but whose story are we in? Whose life have we made a difference in? This is what creates a meaningful life. It’s about being a role model for the people around you.

We often look at the world and hope that someday things will be different. But as my friend and author Sam Horn says, “someday is not a day of the week.” If we wait for someday, we are waiting for others to make the first move.

“Someday” can be today and it can start with us. Today is as good a day as any to be our “someday.” We can all make a difference starting today. And that difference starts with a transformational change within us in how we deal with the people around us and the world beyond them. We would be giving without a transactional expectation and giving to people in all parts of our life appropriately. We would understand that we give what we can afford and that it’s OK to gain in such a society — a humble society where saying thank you is the norm.

Related: These Inspiring Startups Make Giving a Core Part of Their Mission

Start small but start today. Begin local but think global. Influence one life, and you begin to influence the world. Just start with the person next to you and know that: “You may not make a world of difference, but you can make a difference in the world.”

Based on material from Infinite Giving, The 7 Principles of Givers Gain by Dr. Ivan Misner, Greg Davies, and Julian Lewis.

Is there room for intuition in business?  Yes, most definitely.  Decades ago, I may not have thought that, but over the years I have changed my opinion and believe that intuition can be another tool in the business toolbelt. 

The definition of intuition is the “direct perception of truth or facts, independent of any reasoning process; it is an immediate apprehension; or a keen and quick insight into something.”

Years ago, I read a science fiction book that talked about “intuits;” people in their society who seemed to understand things instinctually.  Intuits were thought to have this incredible ability to have immediate cognition of a situation.  But the truth was that the intuits developed the skill to quickly assemble the facts, analyze the data, and predict probabilities based on their field of expertise. 

Yes, the book was science fiction, but it made a statement that really resonated with me.  It said something that totally flies in the face of the definition above.  It said that intuits trained for many years in very specific fields and that it wasn’t an instinctual understanding of an issue but in fact it was about quickly using reasoning given their amassed understanding of particular issues.  In the real world, that’s basically what predictive analytics do using computers today.

Having reconsidered my opinion on instincts, I noticed that as I acquired more experience in my field, I found myself better at assessing issues quickly and having a “gut feeling” about the direction I should go.  What I had presumed was instinct, was – at least in part, quickly assessing the situation given my amassed knowledge of a particular subject. 

What some people think of as “instinct” might in fact be this amassed knowledge applied rapidly.  In fact, I recently had someone drop me a note about a particular challenge he was having.  I gave him some advice and in an email response discussing the resolution of the issue, he said I had assessed a particular problem accurately and concluded by saying, “your gut instinct is amazing!”  Truth be told, it was partly intuition but substantially my years and years of seeing situations like this and quickly assessing the problem and offering a solution.   In my very own narrow field – I looked like an intuit. 

As I acquired more experience, I learned to follow my intuition or “gut” more and more.  Trust me when I say it is not infallible, but I no longer take it for granted.  I listen to the gut feeling far more today than I did when I was in my 20’s or 30’s.   

Haven’t we all been in situations where we had a feeling, we should do something but we didn’t.  When that creates a problem, we look back on it and we clearly see why we should have followed our intuition.

Our intuition, at least in part, is probably related to the experiences we’ve had and what we are doing is quickly processing an interpretation to a situation based on those experiences.  On the other hand, I suppose it could be a heightened sense of ESP but I’m thinking it’s the former.

Called the “father of modern networking” by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author.  He is also the Founder & Chief Visionary Officer of BNI (www.bni.com), the world’s largest business networking organization.  His latest book, Who’s in Your Room, The Secret to Creating Your Best Life,  is available at bookstores and at Amazon.com. 

With everything going on in the world today, we thought it would be a good time to take a step back and talk about diversity, and more specifically, about diversifying your business network.  Developing a truly diverse network is not only the right thing to do, it is also the smart thing to do.  Because let’s be honest, different people bring different things to the table in terms of who they know and how they might be able to refer or otherwise assist your business.

As we said in our book, Networking Like a Pro, networks are by nature, clumpy.  Human beings have a tendency to congregate and surround ourselves with people who are similar to us. . . whether by race, gender, religion, or professional status.  Unfortunately, this approach to networking has unintended consequence – namely, that we tend to form clusters.  This is why it is so incredibly important to be intentional about the way we develop our personal network.  A diverse personal network enables you to increase the possibility of including connectors to your network.  These are people who cross over in some way between two or more groups of people.  The best way to increase the number of possible connections in your network is to intentionally develop a diverse, heterogeneous network that has connections to other clusters of people.

If you go with the premise that relationships are the currency of today’s modern business person, then it stands to reason that having an ethnically diverse business network – comprised of people who look different than you – actually is the next logical step when it comes to building a thriving referral-based business.

But for a lot of people, especially those in the majority, the question becomes how.

In other words, how as a white businessman (or woman), can I diversify my network and get to know more businesspeople in the African American, Asian or even Latino communities? 

That’s a great question and one that, at first glance, can seem daunting to say the least.

But as with most seemingly complicated questions, the answer is quite simple: Be more intentional about it.

In other words, as a member of any ethnic group, the tendency is to spend time around more people like yourself.  So whatever ethnicity I am, I’m more likely to have friends and business contacts of that ethnicity.  And while that’s understandable, we feel that entrepreneurs who diversify their networks – based on ethnicity, gender and a host of other factors – are actually better positioned to be more successful.

As a matter of fact, McKinsey & Company did a report in 2015 (“Diversity Matters”) which determined that companies having a high racial and ethnic diversity are actually 35% more likely to perform above their industry’s national median return.

So the question becomes what can we do to branch out and overcome the gravitational pull we all feel towards spending time around people who look like us? How can we, instead, become more intentional in our actions when it comes to actually meeting and engaging others in different communities?

Another great question…and we have some thoughts.

1. Recognize that diversity is a process, not a program.  In other words, diversifying your network has to be something you want to do and commit to doing on a daily basis.  It needs to become part of your core beliefs that you’re going to be intentional about meeting and engaging people who don’t look like you.  Anything less than that is almost guaranteed to eventually fail.
2. Look at your phone and business contacts on social media.  Do they all “look” the same in terms of ethnicity, age, education and gender?  If so, then keep reading because you might have some work to do. As we said above, diversity is a process, not just a program. This has to be an ongoing process.

• Consider volunteering for certain organizations which put you into contact with people who are different than you.  This could be as simple as volunteering as a coach for a local sports team, scheduling some time to visit an inner city school during “career day,” or sitting on a local community service board.  Just take it upon yourself to broaden the scope of contacts you have with various ethnicities.

• Make it a point to talk to people who don’t look like you.  This is one that I (Brian) personally started doing 2 years ago, and I love it!  So as a black man in his 40’s who grew up in the North but lives in the South, I take it upon myself to talk to ANY white person who may or may not have the same education as me, or  who may or may not be in the same physical shape as me, or who may or may not be originally from the North like me.  And it’s not a question of patronizing people or anything like that…I just make it a point while passing them at the grocery store, walking to my car in the parking lot, picking up some Chinese food to say “Hey, how’s it going?”  And depending on the situation, sometimes that leads to more conversation, sometimes it doesn’t.  But it gets everyone out of their comfort zone for a bit engaging new folks.

• Invite different people of different ethnicities to your networking group.  If you’re in a local Chamber of Commerce or a BNI Chapter, this is a perfect opportunity for you to engage others and invite them to your group.  For example, maybe you’re out networking and you see a person of color and you decide to implement Point #4 from above.  Ok, then during that conversation, you let them know about your group and see if they’d like to attend.  And that’s it.  Super easy to do, and it is very intentional.

• Make this a top down initiative wherever you are in the organization.  For those of you who have employees in your business, this point is crucial.  If you want to have diversity in your organization and be more successful as a business because of it, then you absolutely must take the lead and make diversity a “thing.”  Which means it is something that people value, something that people do, and something that you, as the leader, set as an example on a regular basis for them to emulate.

• Hard-code diversity into the fabric of your business. Similar to the previous leadership point, if you’re going to be serious about diversity in your business, we recommend you seriously consider making it one of the core values of your company.  Put it in your public material, address it when talking to your team/employees, and make it a part of the DNA of the organizational culture so people are crystal clear how you feel about it and how it plays out in your company.

It is important to note that there is a subtle but crucial difference between inclusivity and diversity.  You may have an organization where the members feel like it is very inclusive, but when you look at it from the outside, does it truly look diverse?  If not, you need to be more intentional about being inclusive to create diversity.  Diversity is a fact; inclusiveness is a choice.  Intentionally acting in an inclusive manner is what creates diversity.

Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not there yet…maybe you haven’t done these things as well as you could have.  But today is the day to start. It’s never too late to do the right thing.

Called the “father of modern networking” by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author.  He is also the Founder & Chief Visionary Officer of BNI (www.bni.com), the world’s largest business networking organization.  His latest book, Who’s in Your Room, The Secret to Creating Your Best Life,  is available at bookstores and at Amazon.com. 

If you ever feel like you’ve done a bonehead thing in business or life, this story might make you feel better.

The most memorable television interview I ever did was my first “live” interview — which was very nearly my last live interview.  

It was early 1995, and my first major book was hitting the shelves coast to coast. A cable station had invited me to talk about it on the Fairfield County Exchange morning show in Connecticut, right across the border from New York.  

My publicist called me before the show and said, “Don’t forget that this is live. Completely live.  Whatever you say will go on the air (this was long before the notorious Janet Jackson disaster – now everything is tape delayed).  She also added that “They want you to do something visual for the show.”  

I thought, This is networking, not lion taming. What can I do that’s visual? Run up and down the aisles handing out business cards?  So I thought I’d put together a “tool box” with “networking tools” inside — badges, cardholders, and the like. Kind of goofy, but it was visual.  

Somehow it didn’t feel like it was enough. So while the New York area Executive Director for BNI, was driving me to the show, I came up with an idea. “Lance,” I said, “what do you think about a magic trick?” I am an amateur magician, and I have a trick where I hide some flash cotton in my hand. I wave my hand, and a flame briefly flares up out of it. I happened to have it with me and I said, “Here’s what I’ll do. We get to the end of the interview, the inter­viewer holds up my book, and I say to her, ‘Careful! That’s hot!’ And then I take it from her, and whoosh! Flames shoot out of it.” 

“Yeah, that’s good!” said Lance.  

A little while later, I was sitting in the green room at the studio. It was a large cable station, and the show was a big, 90-minute show with 10 guests or more. I was sitting there with Lance and a bunch of other people, watching the show on a monitor, waiting to be called, when this guy dressed like a Native American walked by. Then another guy walked by dressed like a cop. Then another guy, dressed like a cowboy. 

Someone joked, “Gee, it looks like the Village People!”  Everyone laughed and we all agreed that wasn’t likely. Then I heard the on-air announcer say, “Next on the Fairfield County Exchange, the Village People! And (long-pause with less excitement) Dr. Ivan Misner to talk about networking.” 

I panicked. “Lance,” I said, “I’m gonna die here!”  

I thought, better juice things up a notch. Make a bigger flame. So, I stuffed some more flash cotton into my palm.  

The Village People went on. I watched them on the monitor. They were great! They were fun! They were hysterical! They did “Y-M-C-A,” shaping the letters with their bodies, of course. They were visual!  The audience roared, screamed, jumped up and down.  

I thought, I’m going on after them?  Are you kidding me, I’m going to bomb, I’d better use a little more of that flash cotton.  

The Village People kept the audience jumping and screaming for more. The show fell behind schedule. I knew my interview was going to be rushed. I was up next. I had the cold sweats.  

The producer came over and said, “Get ready, we’re going to have to rush you on and mic you up.”  

“Okay,” I said. I took another pinch of flash cotton (just for good measure) and followed him out of the room. 

As the Village People came offstage to a rowdy standing ovation, I was seated in a chair in front of the cameras, half-facing the host and hostess. I was holding a copy of my book and I wanted to prepare them for what I was going to do. I said to the hostess, seated immediately to my right, “Hey, listen, when we get to the end of the interview, would you hold this up? Then I’ll say — ” 

At that moment, the director, who could hear us through her headset, walked over to us and said, “No, no, no, I don’t want her holding the book up. We have a JPG of the cover, and we’ll show it in another shot.” 

As soon as the director walked away, the hostess turned to me and saw that I was panicked and said, “I’m the host, I’ll decide. What do you want to do?” I started to explain the trick.  As I got to the same point in the first attempt to explain, the director came back and said, “I told you, I don’t want her holding the book up! Okay, we’re on LIVE in five, four, three —” 

The hostess whispered to me, “Just go ahead and do whatever you’re going to do. I’ll follow along.” 

So we did the interview. I thought it was kind of a lame interview with the toolbox thing, especially following the Village People, but I knew we’d have a great ending.  

As we finished up, she said, right on cue, “I have here a copy of Dr. Misner’s book.” She held it up. The director scowled. 

I said, “Careful! That’s hot!” I reached over, took the book from her, and opened it up. And WHOOOOSH! a gigantic flame shot up. Huge, I mean really big. A much bigger flame than I expected and the book caught on fire. 

The hostess screamed, “AAAAHHHH!” and she jumped into the lap of her co-host, waving her arms and hollering. The director was holding her head, yelling “Cut! Go to commercial!” The cameramen were blinded by the flash and came out from behind their cameras. I stomped on the book, trying to put out the fire. The audience laughed hysterically.  Apparently I made quite an impression – just not the one I was hoping for! 

The hostess, still sitting in her co-host’s lap, said, “Oh, thank God I didn’t swear on live television!”  Her co-host looked off-camera, snapped his fingers, and yelled, “Wardrobe! new pants for her, please!” 

I looked over at Lance who was just off stage.  He put two thumbs up and said, “Now, that was visual!  But we should go now.” 

In most places around the world, I may be considered an expert on networking, but in Connecticut, I think I’m considered an arsonist.  So, no matter how embarrassed you may feel by some stupid thing you’ve done in life – just think of this story and you won’t feel so bad. 

Called the “father of modern networking” by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author.  He is also the Founder & Chief Visionary Officer of BNI (www.bni.com), the world’s largest business networking organization.  His latest book, Who’s in Your Room, The Secret to Creating Your Best Life,  is available at bookstores and at Amazon.com. 

I had someone recently ask me the following question:

“Let’s say that you, Ivan, go back 30 years and think about where you were early in your career.  If you didn’t know someone personally and you really admired them and wanted to take a shot at reaching them, how would you do that?”

The short answer to that question is – “I wouldn’t reach out to them directly.  I would find someone that knows them and I would get an introduction.”  That’s exactly how I met Harvey Mackay, author of Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive, back in the 1990’s.

Getting an introduction from a trusted third party smooths the path to meeting someone, especially if that “someone” is well-known or very successful.  In the 90’s my business was still small and I hadn’t written any best selling books so very few people knew anything about BNI or who I was.  Still, I wanted to meet Harvey Mackay and ask if he would contribute a piece to a book I was working on at the time.  He had written about networking and I thought he would make a good contributor to my book.  The problem was that with no name recognition, I couldn’t get past the assistant no matter how many times I tried.

So, I started asking colleagues if they knew Harvey or if they knew anyone that might possibly know Harvey.  I asked everyone I knew.  I asked, and I asked, and I asked.  I generally didn’t ask strangers (or people I just met) because they didn’t know me and would most likely be unwilling to introduce someone they didn’t know to Harvey – a good contact that they did know.  

It took the better part of a year. But one day, I went to another state in the U.S. as part of a book tour that I was doing for one of my first books.  A BNI member in that city asked the local Director if he could pick me up at the airport and take me to my hotel.  I told the Director that I’d love to meet the member personally.  We spent some time on the drive and he asked me many questions about my book and about the BNI organization as a whole.  He came to the event I did that week and asked if I’d like a ride back to the airport the next day.  I happily agreed.

On the ride, we continued our previous conversation.  As we got closer to the airport, he thanked me for all the suggestions I had given on how to build a powerful personal network and he then asked, “is there anything I can do for you?”  Well, as I said above,  I had “asked, and asked, and asked, if people knew Harvey” and so I felt that I got to know this individual well enough to throw that out there.  So, I said to him, “I’ve been trying to connect with Harvey Mackay and I haven’t had any luck.  I just can’t get past his assistant.  You wouldn’t happen to know someone that knows Harvey, would you?”   He said, “Sure, I know his assistant pretty well.  In fact, I have her mobile number!” 

All I can say is that I sat their absolutely dumbfounded.  I said, “You have her number!  How do you know her?”  He then went on to explain that he always volunteers to drive visiting authors from the airport because it is a great way to get them in a car for an hour and learn from them.  That’s why he volunteered to drive me.  He told me that he talked to her many times when he agreed to drive Harvey from the airport the previous year.  He asked me why I wanted to connect with Harvey (in other words, he wanted to qualify me before he passed it on to his trusted contact).  I told him that I wanted to ask Harvey if he would be willing to contribute to a book I was writing called “Masters of Networking.”  I said Harvey had written a book on the topic of networking and he’d be such a great contributor I really wanted him in my book.  The driver said he’d be happy to reach out to Harvey’s assistant and explain what I’m doing and ask her to contact me.

Guess who called me the next week?  No, not the assistant. . . Harvey Mackay.  What a great conversation that was!  Harvey is an icon in the business world and I was so honored to talk to him.  It was a fantastic conversation.  I learned that he absolutely “walks the talk” when it comes to networking. He was masterful in getting to learn about me and about the book I was doing.  In fact, he agreed to provide a contribution to the book.  I got to know Harvey better over the years.  He spoke at one of our BNI conventions and I had a chance to talk to him on many other occasions. 

Some people may think that it all happened just because “I asked.”  But I would say that is only part of the story.  Yes, I asked.  But I asked people who I knew and who I believe trusted me.  More importantly, they knew I wouldn’t betray that trust by doing something other than what I said my intended purpose was.  People don’t want to give a referral to someone that just wants to sell something to an important contact they have (unless that contact is asking for that kind of connection). 

So, if I were to go back 30 years and think about where I was early on in my career and I wanted to meet someone I really admired, how would I do that?  That’s easy.  I’d ask people who trust me for the referral.  It worked for me then and it still works for me today.

Called the “father of modern networking” by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author.  He is also the Founder & Chief Visionary Officer of BNI (www.bni.com), the world’s largest business networking organization.  His latest book, Who’s in Your Room, The Secret to Creating Your Best Life,  is available at bookstores and at Amazon.com. 

Because of the pandemic, the world’s a crazy place to live in right now. Most all of us are quarantined and confined to quarters. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get things done. The worst thing we can do right now, is stop connecting with people.  We need to continue it now, more than ever.  We just need to do it differently.     

People don’t make good decisions based on fear.  There’s plenty of that going on all around the world.  Don’t succumb to it.  I don’t know about you, but challenges like this give me an absolute singularity of focus.  In the middle of a serious challenge, it’s hard sometimes to see through the fog that surrounds our thoughts.

But there are opportunities. To see those opportunities, you need to have a singular focus on executing a plan and not get distracted by noise that doesn’t focus on the solutions to your challenge.

In difficult times, what I’ve seen is one of two things that generally happen to groups of people.  They either become frozen in fear or they become focused on solutions.

Fear vs focus. We cannot change what is going on around us, but we can change how we respond to it. Now is not the time to stop networking – it’s just the time to do it differently (at least for a while).

Keep doing what you need to do to stay healthy that’s important but, set aside your fear and focus on what you can do right now to work your way through this very difficult situation.

If you’re like many people, you probably have some free time on your hands.  Use it effectively.  Activate your network.  Reach out to your personal and professional connections to see how they are doing.  Schedule your time throughout the next week or more to do virtual 1-2-1’s.  Meet people via Skype, Zoom, or GoToMeeting.  Don’t reach out to them to just try to sell something to them.  Instead, find out if there is anything you can do for them?  Recently, I heard John Maxwell say, “you can’t help everybody, but you can help somebody.”  Use this time to help somebody.

And don’t forget, it’s ok for you to ask for help also.  The people in your personal network are your colleagues. They should mostly be people that you are at credibility with. It’s ok to share your needs with them.

Also, this is also a great time to pour into yourself.  Work on the business plan you intend to execute when this is over.  Read books that will stimulate and motivate you to do the things you need to do when this is done.  Spend time learning from the amazing experts here on Entrepreneur.com. 

Now’s not the time to ignore your network.  No, now’s the time to expand and deepen your network.  Connect with your contacts in a different way.  Deepen the relationship and be there to help them where you can.

You’re going to have a business tomorrow because of the actions you take today. You’ll get through this.  It may not be easy – but you can come out of this, light years ahead of your competition if, you use this time to invest in yourself and invest in your network.  That investment, plus the creation of a plan that you will execute when you are all out of this lockdown will position you to weather this viral storm.

Today, you need you network more than ever. 

Stay healthy and activating your network will help you stay successful.

Called the “father of modern networking” by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author.  He is also the Founder & Chief Visionary Officer of BNI (www.bni.com), the world’s largest business networking organization.  His latest book, Who’s in Your Room, The Secret to Creating Your Best Life,  is available at bookstores and at Amazon.com. 

There are some people who are positive and supportive individuals. Over the years, I’ve recognized that these are the people that I really want to be around. They are solutions focused when it comes to solving problems. Plus, they are almost always willing to talk through challenges with a positive end in mind. These solutions focused people are engines. They help us be our best selves, and they motivate us to drive forward in a positive way. The quality of your personal and professional network is highly dependent on the people in your network.

We often consider people’s aptitude when we bring them into our personal network, but we often forget to consider their attitude. Based on a survey I conducted of over 3,400 people around the world, one of the top characteristics of a great networker is, in fact, their attitude. Focus on networking with solutions focused people who are engines, not anchors.

Solutions Focused People

I have noticed, as I’m sure you have, that there are some people who complain as though it were an Olympic event. And for the record, I’ve checked, and it’s not. Furthermore, they tend to be negative, argumentative, and obsessed with problems without any real focus on solutions. I’ve learned not to spend much time with these people because they focus on all the things that are wrong relating to most challenges. If all someone does is focus on problems, they become an expert on the problems and not on the solutions. These people are anchors.They hold us back and weigh us down.

Who do you surround yourself with, engines or anchors?

This is an important question for everyone. Therefore, It is particularly important if you are trying to build a powerful personal network of people around you.Is your network full of people who are engines helping you go to the next level in your life or your career? Or are they anchors weighing you down with the plethora of complaints?

Do they hold you back, or do they drive you forward?  Sometimes when we first meet someone, we can’t tell if they are an engine or an anchor. It may take a little time to observe the way they do business and how they interact with others. However, it is critical that we take notice as soon as possible.

If you want to build a powerful personal network, look for engines — those solutions focused people who help you in your business and in your life. Forbid entrance to the anchors who may be trying to get into your personal network. Generally, they don’t really care about you but mostly care about what you can do for them instead.

The funny thing here is that no one thinks they’re an anchor — no one. They’ll tell you that they are an engine and that they just don’t like the direction you are going and that’s why they come across the way they do. For the record, this attitude means they are an anchor with a motor attachedwho is trying to take you down faster.

My advice is to call for “all hands on deck,” cut loose the anchors in your life. Partner up with your fellow engines and go full speed ahead. Create the life and the network that you want. Only other solutions focused people can help you do that.

I just had someone send me a document that they needed to have completed RIGHT NOW for an important deadline they had.  Mind you, they could have sent the document months earlier. Due to their poor planning, they waited until the last minute to send it to me.  Normally, I wouldn’t sweat it and I’d fill it out pretty quickly and get it back to them.  However, on this occasion, I was in Panama on business.  I was headed home to Austin for less than 24 hours, then I was off to Charlotte for business meetings at BNI Global, and then I was off to Necker Island for some downtime.

They could not have caught me at a worse time – and they were completely aware that I was in the midst of my travels. Regardless, they emailed me, emailed my assistant, emailed my wife, and emailed all of us twice more (all within two days). In between my meetings, I dropped this person a message and said, “I’m sorry you have a problem, but your project is not my priority due to your poor planning.  You had months to send this to me and you sent it at the last moment (when I’m swamped) and you want it right now.  NO.  I am not able to do it right now.”

In my book, Who’s in Your Room, I said that sometimes, “no” is a one-word sentence.  This is one of the times I made it a one-word sentence (OK, I know I had other sentences but I wanted to include that one-word sentence of “NO”).

I understand this person’s frustration. She made a mistake in her poor planning and dropped this in my lap.  I’ve been there before but I did not handle it like she did (multiple demands for completion, reaching my assistant and even my wife – several times)!

Poor Planning Tips

I recommend you consider these suggestions if you find yourself in a situation where you are dropping your problem on someone else due to your poor planning:

• Start with an apology: “I’m really, really sorry but something has slipped through the cracks. I am getting this to you late.  I know you should have had it a long time ago, but you didn’t and that’s on me.  I’ve attached it to this message. Is there any way you can get it to me by X date or time?  I know this may be an inconvenience, but I would appreciate if you could make that happen.
• Copy the assistant on the message (once – not multiple times).
• NEVER harass the spouse. Ever!  Mine did not particularly appreciate being pulled into something she had nothing to do with. More importantly, she is pretty confident that I’m a big boy now and don’t really need further parenting.
• When you do get what you requested – thank them. Throw yourself on the sword again. Tell them you appreciate them helping you out by getting it to you quickly.

Always remember – Someone’s poor planning can lead to problems! By the way, feel free to send this blog to anyone who tries to make their problems your projects.  Maybe they’ll get the message.