Art of Networking
Reality Networking
Why you shouldn't expect instant results.
by Tim Houston

On reality TV, you can find the love of your life, win a competition, or even lose weight in a matter of weeks. TV shows like this tell us that doing small tasks over a period of six to eight weeks will ensure success—at least in some underdeveloped aspect of our lives.

However, what the public doesn't know is that the success often doesn't last. They lose the job, they put the weight back on, or their divorce ends up on the front page of the tabloids.

It's back to square one.

Networking is different. It requires us to do more than just the minimum over an extended period of time. All too often, the neophyte networker believes that they can attend networking events or groups whenever they want, hand out business cards and expect people to instantly start doing business with them. They fool themselves into believing that they are credible in the eyes of those they meet and expect instant business to transpire.

When it doesn't happen like on TV, they convince themselves (and try to convince everyone they meet), that networking doesn't work and is a waste of time, energy, and money. They blame everyone and everything else for their impatience and, thus, lack of success. The excuses are abundant:

"It's the organization's fault."
"They aren't the right people for me to network with."
"The economy's not doing well."
"The weather was bad that day."

Two recent (yet somewhat common) BNI experiences help illustrate this point.

Case #1: An insurance professional contacted me complaining that despite three months in her networking group, she hadn't received a single referral. She asked if she could transfer to a bigger group.

When I looked at her attendance, I saw it was poor. Plus, she didn't give her chapter members any referrals. Nor did she learn about others on an individual basis. Meanwhile, her colleagues who are in other BNI chapters are literally cleaning up and laughing all the way to the bank.

Why? Because they don't buy into the instant-results mentality. They do what is required of them. They build relationships with the people in their chapter. They spend time educating their marketing team to find referrals and referral sources. They ask for key introductions to sources of referrals.

Case #2: I was contacted by someone in a neighboring BNI region who wanted to leave his chapter because "it just wasn't working out."

When I asked how long he had been in his current chapter he said, "Two weeks, and I haven't seen a single referral!"

When asked if someone explained to him that this takes time and effort, he replied, "Yeah, but …" and provided several excuses as to why he wanted to leave his chapter. He thought he was entitled to referrals just by being a part of his chapter!

A Healthy Dose of Reality
Woody Allen is quoted as saying that "90% of success in life is just showing up." Apparently people believe it whenever they go to mixers, trade shows, and networking groups. I respectfully and strongly disagree.

The bottom line is that most business people either don't understand or embrace the hard work that comes with building relationships. Yet, because they believe they deserve instant results—something that networking doesn't afford—they boldly conclude that it doesn't work.

Remember, unlike reality TV, success in BNI won't happen overnight. To produce the desired, positive results, you need to work hard: schedule the time to attend a meeting or an event, and then follow-up with the people you meet to start laying the foundation to a relationship. It's more than just tuning in for 90 minutes, once a week.

The reality of networking is that it takes time. It's going to be hard; it's going to be laborious. But it's going to be well worth it. When done right, it creates a positive reality for the member, the chapter, and ultimately, the bank account.

Tim Houston is the Area Director for the New York City Outer Boroughs Region. As an accomplished public speaker in the areas of sales training, business networking and word-of-mouth marketing, he has made more than 3,000 presentations to companies and organizations over the past 12 years. He is also a contributing author to the New York Times best-seller, Masters of Sales. His official website is www.tmhouston.com. Contact him at tim@tmhouston.com.