October 2007
Art of NetworkingBe sure to set your printer to "landscape" mode before printing.
Art of Networking
Six Essentials for Networking
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1. Practice "Palm Up" Networking. When you network, are you giving or grasping? Palm up networking embodies the spirit of service, of giving and wanting nothing in return. When you network "palm down" you're grasping for personal gain. Palm up = heart-oriented interaction. Palm down = greedy grasping. Which attitude results in building relationships and providing value, and ultimately benefits both parties? You guessed it. The universe has a perfect accounting system. Give to others; it'll all come back to you in time.
2. Exercise Daily Appreciation. Appreciate at least one person daily. Sometimes I do this via e-mail so I can be thorough. And often, to my delight, the recipient will tell me that they are saving the message for when they need a pick-me-up. You can also express appreciation over the phone or in person. Simply tell someone how much you appreciate who they are or what they do—whatever about them moves you. They'll be flattered, and you'll feel great.
3. Equalize Yourself with Others. I believe we all have one unit of worth: no more, no less. No one can add to it; no one can take it away. We're all equal. Just because someone is powerful, rich, and famous doesn't mean they are better than you. Practice equalizing yourself with others. This will enable you to more comfortably interact with others, and to reach out to people of all walks of life.
4. Rolodex Dip. This is a fun practice when you want to connect with someone but aren't sure whom. Flip through your contact database and pick a name. Then think of all the things you like about them. Now call them up to see how they are doing. They'll be surprised and delighted.
5. Pick a "Sensei of the Day." Each day I pick a sensei, a teacher. This is someone or something that has taught me a lesson or reminded me of what's important in life. Your sensei can be a person, a pet, a plant, it doesn't matter. The important thing is to acknowledge that there is much to learn and you are being offered valuable lessons constantly.
6. Do the Drive-By Schmooze. Parties and conventions—groups of all sorts—are great opportunities to network. But sometimes you'll be tired, not in the mood, or have too many events in one evening (like during the holiday season!). This is when you'll want to use the Drive-By Schmooze. Here's how:
a. Timebox your networking. Decide that in 30 minutes you'll do a check-in to determine if you need to stay any longer.For more tips and helpful info on networking, see the Cool Resources section on www.RulesForRenegades.com.
b. Set your goal. Determine the number of new connections you want to establish. Remember, your goal is meaningful connections, not simply contacts.
c. Let your intuition guide you. This may sound flaky, but it works! Stand near the door, in a corner, out of the way. Stop your thoughts. Internally ask to be guided to the people you need to connect with. Then start walking. You'll be amazed at who you meet.
d. Connect. You'll always resonate with someone at an event. When you do, ask questions about them, such as: How did you get started in your field? What's your ideal customer? We all love to talk about ourselves, and these questions will not only help you form a connection with this person, but will also tell you how to help them.
e. Offer help and follow through. If you can provide help, jot down ideas on the back of their business card, commit to follow up, and then do it. If you've had a fruitful conversation and want to take it further, offer to meet for lunch or coffee. People say life is 90% about showing up. Nonsense! Life is 90% about following through!
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Excellence or Mediocrity: Which Will You Choose?
Two different phrases have been rattling around in my mind for sometime now. The first is: "Good is the enemy of great." (1) And the second is: "Build cooperation or expect resistance." (2) In this article, I'm going to tackle the first idea, and next month I'll tie the two together.
In many ways, these two ideas sum up the complex formula of what it takes to operate successful BNI groups.
In an organization where friendships are critical in order to network effectively, it is sometimes difficult to hold fellow members (aka friends) accountable for their performance in the group. (See the May/June, 2006 SuccessNet Article on Friendships & Membership for more on this topic.)
I recently ran into a 22-year member of BNI. She was one of the first people to join the organization in 1985! It was good to see her again. She shared with me that her historically successful group was going through a slow phase. I asked her why she thought that was. Her answer was the same that I hear almost every time in every group around the world that is having a challenge.
It was a variation of one of the following themes: "The group is becoming too lax; we're not following the system very well." or, "We're letting people get away with things we shouldn't accept."
Accepting mediocrity within the network is often at the core of a group facing challenges.
Thousands of chapters in dozens of countries—and the core issues tend to be the same all around the world. When groups accept mediocrity, growth and performance stagnate.
Excellence within a chapter includes more than I possibly can list here; however, the items below are a few key steps for achieving chapter excellence:
1. Education, education, education. There is so much material available through BNI it is staggering. (www.BNIPodcast.com, SuccessNet archives, networking articles at Entrepreneur.com, networking books, Audio CDs, etc. etc.) Make sure you have your fellow members, especially Education Coordinators, see these and use them (what a thought)!
2. Choose quality business professionals to join your chapter of BNI. Don't take the first person with a pulse and a check.
3. Follow the system! BNI has a two-decade track record working in dozens of countries with thousands of members. Don't reinvent the wheel.
4. Pass quality referrals. The only thing more important than passing a lot of referrals is passing quality referrals. Both are important, but quality must lead the way. Effective use of the Reality Check portion of the meeting can help with quality of referrals.
5. Attendance is key to a group's success. Chapters that have poor attendance always end up having problems down the road. Have you ever got a haircut over the phone? Of course not. We've learned that you cannot get or give referrals if you don't show up. Make sure your members attend regularly (and don't let people abuse the substitute policy).
6. Pick a great Leadership Team! Don't settle for who's willing, but select who's best! Leadership Teams can make or break a group. It happens all the time. Pick a President (in some countries they are called a Chapter Director) who will pick good people to support them in running a great group. And make sure they go to Leadership Team Training! You wouldn't want un-trained pilots flying your plane, so don't accept Leadership Teams who don't want to go to training. They are flying your group.
7. Keep positive people with a solutions-focus attitude in your group. OK, here's another way to say it—move out the constant whiners! Some people complain as though there were an award for it. Replace them. Find people who focus on building something great rather than complaining as though it were an Olympic event.
Seriously, why accept mediocrity when excellence is an option? People, just like water, tend to seek the path of least resistance. The problem is that the path with least resistance may not be the best. If you expect the best from your fellow members, you will get it. If you expect less than the best from your members … you will get it. Expect the best. You'll get better results, really.
[NOTE - Next month, look for the follow-up article on building cooperation or expecting resistance. It is the perfect tie-in to expecting excellence.]
(1) Jim Collins, Good to Great
(2) MerKergow & Jackson, Solutions Focus
Called the father of modern networking by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is a New York Times bestselling author. He is the founder and chairman of BNI, the world's largest business networking organization. His latest number one bestseller, Masters of Sales, can be viewed at www.MastersBooks.com. Dr. Misner is also the Sr. Partner for the Referral Institute, an international referral training company. He can be reached at misner@bni.com.
BNI in the News
Author Reveals Secrets of the Masters of Sales
Networking guru Ivan Misner says writing his latest book, Masters of Sales, was a lot like herding cats.
The book draws on contributions from 75 sales experts, he notes. Rounding up their thoughts and getting them into the book took a lot of time and editing.
"To me the most exciting thing is getting that combination of the 'big names' and the people who are out there in the real world making it happen," Mr. Misner says.
Sales and motivation stars Harvey McKay, Zig Ziglar and Tony Robbins are among those offering their thoughts about sales success.
Click to continue.
Watch Your Business Grow
This article was submitted by Stacey Anderson to NAPO News, a publication for professional organizers. Stacey is also helping to start a new BNI chapter in Brooklyn, New York.
It's great to hear when a member of BNI gets one third of their yearly business from BNI referrals!
Submitted by Tim Houston, BNI Area Director, New York City Outer Boroughs Region
Referrals a Must for Small Business
So you think if you're doing a bang-up job, people will keep sending business your way. That may be true, but there's a lot more you can do to ensure a steady stream of referrals to your business.
Most people know hundreds of people, so why not capitalize on those personal connections to help grow your business? It's a lot easier to get a new customer by referral than it is by phoning them blind, experts say.
Click to continue.
To The Next Level
Building BNI Diversity
When we started BNI in New Orleans, Louisiana, we were blown away by the power of diversity. We were told that BNI would not work here; the only thing that works here is the "good ole boys club." That was prior to meeting two people who were gatekeepers in the community. They introduced BNI to all the right people in several different communities and races. Through their introductions, the New Orleans area is one of the most successful BNI regions in the country. So how does diversity help us win?
What Is Diversity?
If your BNI chapter is virtually all male, female, white, tall, short, straight, or gay, there is still diversity in your chapter! That's because the broad definition of diversity includes differences AND similarities by age, education, occupation, management/non-management, and thought. In addition, race, gender, and sexual orientation constitute diversity.
One definition of diversity is "all the characteristics, whether inborn or chosen, that make one person both different from and similar to another person or other persons."
Another definition is "an inclusive team that recognizes and leverages each person's individuality (commonality and uniqueness) in the pursuit of individual and collective objectives." (This could be your BNI Chapter.)
How Does Diversity Benefit a Chapter?
By knowing as much as possible about diversity, and how to do business with people and organizations "similar and different" from you, you can tap into the huge buying power of markets according to gender, race, and sexual orientation.
A second reason is that you are competing with Fortune 500/1000 corporations that have been doing this for years. Corporations have developed their expertise through an approach called Affinity Groups (AG). AGs are employee groups identified by race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. While one directive for each AG is to address employment issues of a specific group, another directive is to develop marketing strategies to increase market share within that group.
A diverse BNI chapter can help serve the purpose of an AG for its members.
What Else about Diversity?
You may have already decided that diversity in your chapter can bring you more customers, revenues, and profits. The next step is to leverage the diversity. As mentioned, the Fortune 500/1000 companies have figured it out and are reaping the benefits.
They've had diversity initiatives in the form of training classes. One of the mantras of corporate diversity training is "We can change an employee's behavior, but we can't change his or her attitude." Another mantra is "If we can change behavior, it will work out." First, a person's attitude can change. Second, changing behaviors doesn't always result in minimizing or eliminating the "isms."
Getting into deep dialogues and being in environments with "others" can result in changes in attitude. Changing our attitude about any "ism" or stereotype can be accomplished. Our BNI chapters offer us the environment for such an opportunity. When attitudes shift, change happens at a greater rate. In a group setting, we begin to operate with synergy; the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
How Do You Diversify Your Chapter?
If you are interested in increasing the diversity of your chapter and/or leveraging the diversity in your chapter, let your chapter president and director know. BNI has a Cross Cultural Council whose purpose is to help BNI become more diverse. We are looking for chapters who will take the lead in moving us ahead.
Here are a couple of ideas to get you started. First, study your market; find out what diverse market segments are present. Then find a leader in that market segment and ask for an introduction. Invite some of the community leaders to your chapter to see what BNI is about. Based on our experience, they will be inspired by what they see and will want to be involved.
Second, make it a priority. One suggestion is to form a committee that can spearhead the chapter's effort to become more diverse. This committee can work with the chapter to become more culturally aware and inspire members to take action. By creating a diverse chapter, you will dramatically increase your connections, business, and profit. It just makes sense.
Len Rothman owns an executive and leadership coaching firm in Atlanta. His business coaching clients include small businesses owners, corporate executives/managers, and individuals. He includes matters of diversity in his coaching when applicable. With his own background as a Fortune 500 executive, he coaches minority and women business owners whose target market includes Fortune 500/1000 companies. He can be reached at (770) 998-7677 or LenRothman@ActionCOACH.com. Visit www.actioncoach.com/lenrothman.
David Alexander is an Executive Director for BNI in southeastern USA. David and his firm also provide customized corporate training using programs from the Referral Institute, Personality Insights, and Intensity Business Leadership. He is currently working on two books: Networking Like a Pro and Referrals for Life. He can be reached at (678)-888-0200 or david@referrals4life.com
My BNI Story
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Words cannot describe how my family and I have benefited from being involved with BNI. I have met the most wonderful, warm, caring, and professional people through BNI—all of whom I feel privileged to be associated with, and proud to refer business to. I look around my home and office and am surrounded by the products and services of current and previous BNI members.
Our kitchenette and breakfast counter barstools were painted by Larry Johnson from BNI. The family room was designed and accoutered with beautiful functional leather couches by Barbara Schumacher of BNI. I have Heritage Makers albums ready to be prepared and presented as holiday gifts for my immediate and extended family. Next to it is a computer serviced and virus protected by several current and past BNI members.
My 2-year-old and I have received chiropractic care from Wellness One of Bellevue. Several of my clients have received gifts from Magic Envelopes.
These are just a few instances of the products and services of BNI members, each of whom has greatly enhanced my daily life and whom I have referred BNI members to.
None of the above benefits include the personal growth I have experienced while a BNI member. When practiced, the "Givers Gain" philosophy truly works! The leadership of Debi Kirk and her ambassadors are all prepared and professional. The BNI online newsletters, resources, and training have been invaluable to me.
I joined BNI to build my mortgage business through word-of-mouth referrals. I have met my goals from the financial aspect, and have benefited tremendously on a personal level. I will endorse BNI to everyone I know based on my personal experience.
Lanelle Martin, President, BNI Prospecting Professionals, Redmond, WA
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You know what you'd do if a friend told you she was starting a new job as a mortgage broker, don't you? You'd tell her to find a seat in a BNI chapter—maybe even to start a chapter if that prized seat was taken in all the chapters for miles around.
But suppose she lived in a post-Communist country, where mortgages have only been available for the past five years. She might not have the same opportunities for networking that we have in the U.S., right? Maybe. Maybe not. Let me share with you a story from my vacation this summer in Poland.
I'm the owner of an auto repair shop in the Boston suburb of Waltham, Massachusetts. I've been a BNI member for almost six years, having joined during the aftermath of 9/11 to keep my business afloat. BNI has been very good for me—everybody owns a car, so it's easy to pass referrals to me.
Every summer I take part in a retreat to Poland with a group from my church. This year at the retreat I visited with a couple, and Monika told me that she was leaving her position as a high school physics teacher to sell home mortgages and small business loans. I asked how she was going to find customers. Monika offered that she and Jarek had a lot of friends from their church. I asked if I could use their computer. I typed in "BNI Polska" and a web site came right up, listing 13 chapters in the whole country.
I launched into my BNI spiel, explaining to Monika how belonging to a chapter meant having 20 or 30 other sales people out in the community looking for business for you. It also meant surrounding yourself with a cast of friendly, capable people whose professions complement yours, so that you can pass the home buyer to a real estate agent, and then to a contractor and so forth. It seemed that BNI was just getting off the ground in Poland, so Monika could put herself in a great position by helping organize a chapter in Bielsko-Biala. Jarek was as intrigued by the opportunity as Monika—he's the head of the office of a large French bank in the nearest big city, Katowice, where there were already two BNI chapters. He volunteered to go to a meeting to check the program out for Monika.
I can't wait to see if Monika starts up a BNI chapter in Bielsko—she's certainly capable of it! It's nice to share good ideas with your friends, and now I know I can share the good idea of BNI with the friends I'm making in Poland who have small businesses.
Mike Bundy, Longlife Auto Repair, Newell Chapter, Newton, MA
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My daughter recently passed her driver's test and is now a licensed driver. I wanted to effectively explain to her the responsibilities and opportunities that go along with driving but didn't want to come off as preachy.
I was looking over my notes to prepare for an MSP 2.0 training when the idea hit me. Use a large Post-It easel pad to demonstrate the Confidence Curve to my daughter!
My daughter watched as I drew the curve, starting at the lower left corner and continuing upward just like we do in training. I labeled the right side of the curve "FULL DRIVING PRIVILEGES." The lower left corner I labeled "PARENTS HAVE TO DRIVE YOU." (To a teen with a license, this would be "teenager hell" or the equivalent of falling off the referral curve.)
On the top right, we listed the actions and activities that would help her keep full driving privileges and the keys to the "extra" car. These included: coming home on time, no tickets, checking the oil in the car, running errands for mom and dad without complaint, taking her younger sister places, maintaining a B-average minimum in school, and helping out around our farm when asked.
On the bottom right we listed the actions and activities that would cost her the opportunity to drive. These included: not keeping curfew, lots of kids in the car just driving around acting silly, low grades, not taking care of the car, complaining about having to take her sister places or help out on the farm, etc.
We talked about how a person goes up and down the curve, and if she messes up how to move back up again. She took the page and attached it to the back of her door.
It's been nine months since she's been driving and things are going very well. The Confidence Curve on her door reminds her that she is being held accountable and there are consequences for her choices—both good and bad.
Sue Henry, Area Director, BNI Minnesota
Breaking News
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Masters of Sales Hits #1 on The Wall Street Journal's Best-Selling Book List!
To view The Wall Street Journal's best-selling book list online, click here.
Congratulations and THANK YOU to everyone who is taking part in making Masters of Sales such a huge success!
For further info about Masters of Sales, please visit: www.MastersBooks.com.
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Dr. Ivan Misner says, "Kevin Eikenberry's book, Remarkable Leadership, is a must-read for anyone wanting to improve their leadership skills. I highly recommend this book."
The new book Remarkable Leadership: Unleashing Your Leadership Potential One Skill at a Time is a practical handbook for anyone wanting to hone their leadership skills. In this groundbreaking book, Kevin Eikenberry outlines a framework and a mechanism for learning new things and applying current knowledge. Eikenberry provides a guide through the most important leadership competencies, offers a proven method for learning leadership skills, and shows approaches for applying these skills in today's multitasking and overloaded world. The book explores real-world concerns, such as focus, limited time, incremental improvement, and how we learn.
Kevin interviews Ivan Misner for the book, and they discuss the role of networking for leaders. The book also shares how networking helped Ivan early in his career. Buy the book now and you can receive a remarkable array of bonuses. You can learn more here: http://www.remarkableleadershipbook.com/campaigns/bonuses.asp
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According to FORTUNE Small Business, "Jim Blasingame is one of the 30 most influential people in America representing small business." He is also the creator and award-winning host of The Small Business Advocate® radio show, which BNI's Founder & Chairman Dr. Ivan Misner has been interviewed on numerous times.
Previously, Jim Blasingame's illuminating and entertaining interviews with Dr. Misner were only available online in a streaming audio format. But now, you can also download 26 of Dr. Misner's interviews to your computer or Mp3 player, so you can listen at your convenience—anytime, anywhere!
Check out Dr. Misner's Mp3 and downloadable interviews now at: http://www.smallbusinessadvocate.com/cgi-bin/archivesbybtsub.cgi?bt=187&sub=-1&mediatype=1