From the Founder
Networking Resonance
Focus on what is working rather than what's not.
By Dr. Ivan Misner

When I ask BNI audiences whether BNI is working for them, I almost always hear a resounding "YES!" But sometimes, someone from the audience will say, "No, it's not working for me." When this happens, I ask the audience to name one thing—just one thing—that is working for them.

One of the first answers is almost always about getting referrals. Yes, many people get referrals, and that is to be expected in a referral organization; however, many of the other answers have nothing to do with referrals. In fact, they initially surprised me when I started asking the question.

They include comments like these:
• "I've developed friendships that will last a lifetime."
• "I get a real education about many businesses."
• "I've improved my presentation skills immensely."
• "I've gained mentors and advisors who help me in business."
• "I have a cadre of quality business people I can refer to my clients."
• "I've increased my contacts."
• "I've overcome my shyness."
• "I've developed some great professional relationships."
• "I've improved my business skills."
• "I've become a better listener."
• "I've developed better referral marketing goals."

One of my favorites is "My meeting day is the best day of the week for me!" I love to hear this. This answer, along with the many others, is a great example of networking resonance.

Networking resonance is all about people working together effectively. Thus, when you focus on what is working, you focus on solutions—or resonance. When you focus on what is not working, you focus on problems—or dissonance.

With more than two decades of experience in BNI, I've found that those members who focus on solutions and not problems are almost always part of a more successful group. This is because a solutions-focus is a resonant process in social interaction. It creates harmony in performance.

This harmony works best when members focus on incremental steps that relate to improving elements of a group that are working, instead of focusing on problems. We know that what you focus on expands; therefore, focusing on the positive in your chapter creates more positive results! Resonance is about focusing on what "is working." It's about identifying what is pointing the chapter in the right direction and doing more of it!

We 've probably all seen the hilarious clips on various funny video shows where young children just learning to ride a two-wheeled bicycle inevitably collide with the mailbox, a tree, a car in the driveway, or even the person doing the filming! Why do you think this is? It's because they are focusing on the obstacle in their path, not on the goal.

What is your chapter's goal? Focusing on that goal can help you bypass some of the perceived obstacles. Simply stop focusing on the obstacles.

Every BNI group I've ever observed, no matter how small or how many problems they had, were doing some things right. Focusing on what they are doing right and improving those areas is the start of creating resonance in a group. This means that sometimes the art of creating networking resonance is knowing what to overlook. Focus on what is working and not on what isn't.

Based on results, something is working in BNI. The organization now has over 4,700 groups in more than three dozen countries around the world. Last year, the organization passed over 4.9 million referrals, which generated over $1.9 billion in business for our members worldwide (based on two doctoral studies).

So here are some points for your chapter to consider in order to have a "solutions focus":

• Take incremental steps to build toward the solution.
• Don't fix what isn't broken.
• Find what works and do more of it!
• Spot useful qualities and resources in action.
• Focus on incremental steps. Be selective.

This approach often requires a shift in attitude. Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching? Think about that, and, if you don't already, start using a solutions-focused attitude, which will spread to others and create networking resonance in your BNI group.

Called the father of modern networking by CNN, Dr. Ivan Misner is the Founder of BNI and the senior partner for the Referral Institute. He has written nine books, including his recently released New York Times best seller Truth or Delusion? Busting Networking's Biggest Myths.