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If You're Not Having Fun, You're Not Doing It Right
By Robyn Henderson, writer and speaker, Australia
Your BNI chapter often becomes a comfort zone. The more you attend, the more familiar you become with other members, the more dance cards you complete, the less you are inclined to move out of your comfort zone and talk to strangers outside of BNI.
Talking to strangers ranks in the top 5 things that people hate to do.
To think about actually having fun whilst talking to strangers may be a definite stretch of your imagination. Recall the last party that you went to: picture those people in the room who just seemed to be able to talk to anyone about anything. Just what is their secret? How is it that they even look like they are enjoying themselves? Is it possible for you to become a more interesting person and even have fun talking to total strangers? The answer is most definitely YES!!
TIP 1: Interesting people are interested in others.
They actually take the focus off themselves and put it on to the person/s they are speaking to. Interesting people are actually great listeners—they work at improving their listening skills every day. Practice, practice, practice—every day, talk to one stranger! I dare you!
TIP 2: Spend a week observing great communicators in your social and business networks.
What makes them different? You may observe that they:
- listen to your answer
- allow you to finish your response without interrupting
- make eye contact
- genuinely act as if they care about your answer
- somehow make you feel special
- follow up when they say they will
- often offer helpful suggestions to you, but not in a know-it-all fashion
- can often remember snippets of previous conversations you may have had
Great communicators work at their conversations. They focus on you, not the person standing behind you. The good news is that everything they do, you can choose to do, too.
TIP 3: Act as if everyone in the room, stranger or not, is a V.I.P.—a Very Interesting Person.
Good communicators believe that every single person they meet is interesting and has much to contribute to any conversation. An interesting person will almost always have a couple of open-ended questions prepared, for example:
- What was the highlight of your day/weekend/holiday?
- What tips would you give someone who has never attended one of these events before?
- What’s your opinion of XXXX?
- What do you like most about your profession?
- What’s your favourite restaurant/movie/sport?
- Your XXXX looks great! Do you mind me asking where you bought it?
- Are you XXXX (city) born and bred?
- How did you get your start in the widget business?
- What tips would you give someone entering your profession?
Once the conversation starts, it generally flows when you focus on making that heart-to-heart connection—and really listening to their responses and, of course, their questions. Treat the person standing in front of you as if they were the most important person in the room.
TIP 4: Act like the host and not the guest.
The key to making connections is basically that your intention is to treat people the way you would like to be treated. Try it, but make sure you have fun while you are doing it.
For more articles by global networking specialist, Robyn Henderson, visit www.networkingtowin.com.au or email inetwork@ozemail.com.au
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