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HUDDLE TIME
How to Be a Fearless Networker
You can beat anxiety and gain confidence in your people skills
By Ken Marsh
"The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate
insecurity."
—Erich Fromm
Even if you are shy or timid, even if you avoid reaching out to people or even if you are reluctant to greet new people, you can learn to engage others in conversation and develop win-win relationships. I should know. I wrote the book on this: "Fearless Networking: A step by step guide to mastering networking for beginners or professionals, even the shy & timid."
The central focus of the "fearless networker" rests solely on being a problem solver. Shy and timid networkers do not need the added pressure and anxiety inherent in their thoughts when the focus is on them. When we ask, "What's in it for me?" and "What can I get for my time?" we are under pressure to perform. Instead, the appropriate questions are "How might I help the business owners in attendance?" and "How might I contribute to the professionals attending the event?" This approach is a sure-fire way to ease anxiety and stress when business networking.
This philosophy of focusing on how you can help and not on what you can get is a mark of the professional networker and is the best way to begin building profitable relationships. Try these networking tips to get you on the road to becoming a fearless networker.
What to Do at Business Networking Events
- Have an objective for the number of people you will help at the networking event. Look for ways to meet their needs through your network.
- Network with those who stand alone at or near the food table or bar. They are easiest to talk to. They are usually shy like you!
- Plan to spend time after the meeting to talk with fellow business people.
- Look for ways to develop your business relationships. Invite someone to breakfast, lunch or your office.
- Listen attentively, after you have asked an open-ended question. Through your network, you may be able to meet their needs.
- Keep your network members at the forefront of your mind.
- Be observant for people talking openly about their problems. While listening, think of who in your network may be able to help.
- Listen 80 percent of the time and talk 20 percent of the time by asking the right questions. Here's a rule of thumb: If you talk more than 60 seconds when it is your turn to talk, you're talking too much.
What NOT to Do at Business Networking Events
- Monopolize the conversation by talking mostly about you, your product or your service.
- Do most of the talking. Ask prospective referrals open-ended questions. Let the other person do most of the talking. People love to talk about themselves.
- Stay with those you've come with or approach people you know already because you are nervous. The temptation is to stay with the people you recognize and avoid people new to you.
- Rush into a conversation about what you or a member of your network can do. Continue asking open-ended, probing questions. Show interest in the prospective referral's problems. Remember: A prescription without diagnosis is malpractice.
- Be a loner. If you feel uncomfortable, remember to first approach other individuals by themselves. You might see people alone near the drink or buffet tables. They are probably hoping someone will approach them.
- Be a card dropper, handing out your own business card to each person you come in contact with, quickly moving on to the next!
- Leave without making an earnest effort to meet your objective. Be sure that your objective is realistic. Helping one or two people is better than five or six if you are new to networking.
- Forget if you are in a referral-sharing group, like BNI. You represent another 20 to 40 companies not just your company.
Excerpted from "Fearless Networking! A Step By Step Guide to Mastering Networking for Beginners or Professionals, Even the Shy & Timid." Ken Marsh is an author of more than 70 titles, 40 in the areas of business networking and building long-term relationships. He is a prolific networker who has received "The Most Notable Networker Award for Most Referrals" for 36 Consecutive Months (averaging 22 quality referrals a month) for his BNI network and in the process generating tens of thousands of dollars. To order a copy of this book, go to www.fearlessnetworkers.com or phone (832) 368-4434.
HUDDLE TIME
Be a Referral Leader
What you can learn from Rudy Giuliani's 6 rules of leadership
By Jerry Schwartz, BNI Executive Director, Maryland and Washington D.C.
In a recent seminar, Rudolf Giuliani, former Mayor of New York, talked about the six principals of being an effective leader. These same six principals certainly apply to BNI members in getting quality referrals.
1.) "Develop strong beliefs. Figure out what you believe in." In BNI you need to believe in the referral process and the true meaning of "Givers Gain."
2.) "Be an optimist. People follow hopes, dreams and solutions. Be a problem solver." People also follow referral givers. Those who pass the most referrals will usually receive the most. Becoming a problem solver for your friends, relatives and business contacts allows you to find referrals for your fellow members.
3.) "Have courage. Courage is understanding your fears and dealing with them." The biggest fear in BNI is finding those tough referrals for your chapter. But if you have the courage to get out of your comfort zone, you will make that extra phone call, develop new contacts for your referral partners and make sure your referrals are strong.
4.) "Relentlessly prepare for and anticipate each situation." Preparation is the key to success. You prepare for a meeting by rehearsing your infomercial and 10-minute presentation. You prepare by having referral slips filled out before the meeting. BNI is not a 90-minute meeting. It is 24/7. Anticipate what phone calls you can make that will generate referrals. Be ready at all times with your BNI business card portfolio. Have lots of members' cards in it.
5.) "Work as a team." As a member of BNI you are part of a team—a team of business professionals who help you generate a lot of referral business. You have to be a team player and a team leader to maximize your benefits.
6.) "Communicate well." Communication is a key ingredient in any word-of-mouth program. When you get a referral, contact the person right away. Do not let hot referrals cool off. Communicate with the person who gave you the referral and let them know your progress with the referral, and maybe they can help you even more. Also, recognize your referral partner at your next meeting.
Mayor Giuliani also said, "Leaders develop change. They know what they want to accomplish." Set your referral goals, adapt them to the needs of your chapter and work together with your fellow BNI members so everyone can become a referral leader.
HUDDLE TIME
Some Pain Leads to Big Gain
How one chapter upped their expectations and grew
By Darrell Ross, Executive Director, British Columbia
They took over in October 2001. They were called the "suits." Some members were happy and others more apprehensive as the suits guided the chapter toward a higher level of accountability.
Early in 2002, Vancouver's First chapter had about 35 members and passed about 800 referrals per month. One month, they worked especially hard and generated 1,100 referrals. However, guests and some members were skeptically impressed. They said, "That's a lot of referrals, but how much business was generated?"
So the suits made a decision to track sales by reporting commissions earned. These statistics became the major benchmark for the monthly VP report. But some members didn't like this level of accountability.
Initially, there was a dramatic drop in the numbers of referrals, and some people left the chapter. The chapter hit its low point at 25 members. (This was a drop of almost 30 percent.) As remaining members questioned the strategy, relationships in the group were a little strained.
However, over time and by sticking to the plan, the quality of referrals increased. In fact, during the past year the average commissions earned per month in the chapter was $40,000 to $50,000. (That's money in the personal pockets of the members!)
Along the way, the Membership Committee adopted a more stringent process for accepting new members. The chapter raised the bar with respect to new member applications. Now, when a member joins, he or she is comfortable with the higher expectations because he or she is accustomed to the new level of accountability. The chapter has also enforced the Member Success (Orientation) Program, and several long-term members have revisited the orientation program to brush up on the new expectations.
By December 2002, the Vancouver First chapter had 31 members, passed higher quality referrals leading to closed business and were still having fun. Although the process was a little painful, over a year later, the value of each membership has increased. BNI is, after all, in business to grow businesses. It's not just a social club. The gain for this chapter was certainly worth the effort.
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